385. You worship something. You just don’t know it.

Everybody worships something. The question is whether you know what you’re sacrificing to do it.

The Aztecs killed 15,000 people per year and cut out the beating hearts in order to feed their gods.

Like it or not, those Aztecs may have been onto something.

Because everybody worships some god.
And every god you worship has to get fed.

Everybody Worships Something

I was thinking about this while I was reading a commencement speech by David Foster Wallace. You may have read it - it’s been passed around the internet close to a kajillion times. These are the words that struck me:

There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.

His point wasn’t religious. Neither is this rant you’re reading.

Just the opposite. The worshipping we’re discussing is about the daily decisions of adult life.

There’s no such thing as an atheist in adulthood.
We all pray to something.

You have a thing you would fight for, a thing you’d sacrifice other things to protect.

Everyone does.

The question is whether or not you know your god.

What Leaders Actually Kneel To

I’ve spent years working with leaders at all size companies, and now I can usually spot their god before they can.

There are the people who worship being needed.

They’re the ones who can’t delegate well. Heck, they can’t even take a real vacation. Their entire sense of self-worth is tied to feeling indispensable.

Other people worship being right.

They need to be the smartest person in the room. The one with the best ideas and the correct way to do things. People who identify with Imposter Syndrome often are the ones who kneel at this altar.

Some people worship the almighty number.

More money. More followers. More views. The number is a cruel god, because you’ll never feel like you ever have enough. That finish line that seemed so close constantly keeps moving further away.

None of these people think they’re worshipping anything. They think they’re just working hard. That they’re just driven.

That’s how you know it’s a god you pray to and not a choice you made.

Every God Gets Fed

The part that the Aztecs got right is that a god isn’t defined by what you love. It’s defined by what you’re willing to sacrifice for it.

That’s the whole thing. It’s the sacrifice that separates a god from a hobby. You don’t lay a beating heart (and soul) on the altar for something you kinda sorta like. You do it for the thing you serve.

So if you want to know what someone actually worships, don’t ask them what they’ve gained. Ask what they’ve sacrificed.

The leader who worships being needed sacrifices growth - both theirs and their teams.

The one who worships the number sacrifices connection with the people around them.

The one who worships being right sacrifices every better idea from every talented person in the room.

You are always sacrificing something.

The only question is whether you chose the god you idolize, or it chose you.

I’ll go first.

Mine Was Acceptance

For a long time I thought my god was money. I chased it hard, told myself it was the thing that mattered most. I built a lot of my identity around getting it.

Then the moment came where money would’ve cost me my relationships. And I found out it wasn’t my god at all because I simply wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice.

The altar was there, the sacrifice was right in front of me, and I walked away from it.

That’s how I learned money was never actually the thing I worshipped. I only thought it was.

My real god was acceptance.

I needed to be liked. I needed to fit in with every person I met. And I fed that god for years by continually sacrificing the one thing it always demands:

My authenticity.

I’d become whoever the room demanded I be. I’d shift my opinions, laugh at things I didn’t think were funny, agree with things I knew were wrong. I put my real opinions on the altar, and jabbed a knife through them over and over in an Aztec type of way, while telling myself I was just being easygoing.

Nobody made me do it.

That’s the thing about your god. Nobody has to hold the knife. You thrust it down yourself.

The Temple In The Middle Of Your Life

The Aztecs didn’t try to hide what they were doing. They built the temple in the middle of the city where everyone could see the sacrifices. They knew exactly which god they were feeding and exactly what it cost.

You’ve got a temple too. And it’s built right in the middle of your life. You’re just pretending it isn’t there.

I’m not going to tell you to stop worshipping. You can’t. Wallace was right about that.

If you take away one god, you’ll just find another to worship. But you can turn around and look at the thing you’ve been praying to this whole time.

You can acknowledge what you’ve been sacrificing. The relationships. The time. The health. The honesty. The people who trusted you and got sacrificed instead.

And then you can decide, with purpose and intention, whether that’s the god you actually want.

Because the sun is going to come up either way.
You don’t need to sacrifice your heart and soul to make it happen.

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Figuring out which god has been running your decisions — and what you've been sacrificing to feed it — is exactly what the free Leadership Diagnostic Workshop is designed to reveal for you.

P.S. I still catch myself feeding the old god sometimes. Laughing at things I don’t find funny. Shifting my position to fit the room. The temple doesn’t disappear. You just stop pretending it isn’t there.